On the Waterfront

On the Waterfront is a seminal 1954 classic about Irish-American longshoremen in Hobeken or something. Directed by this Greek chap who didn't like communists. Personally, I missed most of the film because I was using my smartphone to put the son's college tuition on the horse races, which were then cancelled by the coronavirus. I gave this film 2 stars on IMDB out of anger.

First Impressions
I think this is a very, very pretentious film. I don't understand why it had to be in black and white when the poster clearly has colours on it. I also did not understand any of the characters' accents, which I guess is part of the whole "art house" job. They got some absolute nobody to play the title character instead of the seminal Rob Schneider. I could easily imagine him doing a better job than this Z-list tyke with bad posture. In the pursuit of objectivity, I will commend the director for killing those pigeons off near the end, because there's plenty of bad blood between pigeons and I.

Reflections
I didn't understand why Terrence Alloy's big brotha could have easily passed for his father by the looks of him. After looking it up, I was shocked to discover that the actor for Charley is in fact younger by Marlon Wayans by a year. This really shattered my immersion for the film. I'm glad most of the cast are dead.

I also hold disdain towards the scene where they kill that dockworker by "accidentally" dropping cargo on him. I looked it up, and, yes, guns had been invented by this period in history, so surely they could have shot him instead.

Maybe this film held more weight back in the roarin' 50s, when you could get publically hanged for saying "shit", but it simply does not hold up in the 21st century. The scene where "Terr-Bear" Malloy calls John Friendly (who isn't actually friendly, so this creates a plot hole) a "lousy, dirty stinkin' mug" just comes out as a wet fart nowadays. I believe that new releases of the film should dub this line so that Terry calls him a "cunt", "pedo" or perhaps even the dreaded N-word. In this modern era, where the Socialist Justice Warrior Snowflake Millennial Cybernetic Vampiric Transhumansexual Goblin Neoliberal Fascist Cringe Epigressive Anti-Self Playmobil Retards are attempting to prevent me, both physically and morally, from striking Congolese schoolchildren with a stave, we have to get back at them somehow.

Conclusion
At the end of the day, Hollywood will continue to churn out shit like this while The Fanatic (2019, dir. Limp Bizkit) gets overlooked. In my opinion, its better to solemnly accept this cruel reality we live in rather than destroy ourselves in fruitless fits of rage. My wife caught me masturbating at the scene when Terry "The Champ" Malloy breaks down his girlfriend's apartment door because I mistakenly believed he was going to rape her. Now she's going to divorce me when lockdown ends! This is the best day of my life!